Turning 50 was a pivotal moment for me, marked by deep reflection and transformation. During the stillness of the COVID years, when the world seemed to pause, I turned inward. My experiences with psychedelics during this time opened new perspectives, while a trip to Mexico became a journey toward independence—though even that eventually felt monotonous, like it wasn’t enough.

This chapter felt like both an ending and a beginning. My 50th birthday became a moment to pause and take it all in—a culmination of past ambitions and a time to reevaluate. After my father’s passing, I found myself dwelling on what I’d done wrong, feeding into a narrative of loss and regret. Yet, this process of reconnecting with myself and my history became a pathway to renewal, a way to move forward with greater clarity.

The series of drawings I created during this time captures these moments of introspection and transformation. They reflect the duality of mourning and rediscovery, exploring the emotional weight of regret, independence, and the search for meaning in a shifting landscape.